Guilt

A week ago I made the announcement that I was going to write in this blog every day for the season of Lent.  Ha! I forgot on Saturday and just decided not to do it on Sunday.  It isn't the writing that is so hard, its the probing the corners of my mind and sorting through all the things I want to write about. I can find things to say, I just need to force myself to focus on just of of many things at a time.  Guilt has been on my mind today.  I thought I would feel guilty if I didn't keep up the writing but I don't.  At an earlier time in my life I would have but I think that losing the power of guilt on my life is one of the joys and benefits of getting older and gaining wisdom.  

We read parts of the Heidelberg Catechism on Sunday so I was reading further along tonight and came to Question and Answer #56.   

 

What do you believe concerning "the forgiveness of sins"?

I believe that God,

because of Christ's atonement,

will never hold against me any of my sins

nor my sinful nature

which I need to struggle against all my life.

Rather, in his grace

God grants me for righteousness of Christ 

to free me forever from judgement.

(taken from The Psalter Hymnal of the Christian Reformed Church, 1987)

None of my sins will ever be held against me!  I mess up.  I did mess up my promise to write but its alright. I get a do-over.  Again and again.  Some would call this cheap or easy but you see, I am back tonight writing.  Thinking about why I didn't continue on the weekend and feeling guilty about it would have had me stuck in myself,  sorry for myself because I am so awful.  But that's the wrong direction for me to look.  I need to look out, to actually look up, up to Jesus.  He makes it worthwhile for me to try again because if I mess up again, no worries, I can try again and he will help me get it right. 

I saw this twice today with students.  Announcing their misdeeds makes them feel bad but it doesn't change their behaviour. Telling the parents about how their children had NOT had a green card all day just made the students discouraged.  They were never good enough. Their behaviour got worse because there was no hope.  Guilt put them further into themselves.  So I hope today, we set a new path.  Lets use some tools so make sure that they have better days at school and if it isn't a good day, what happens at school, if it doesn't hurt someone, stays at school.  Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully with the help of older and wiser helpers, it will be a better day.

Guilt sucks up hope and we can't live or thrive without hope.  Jesus did what he did because I can't live with out making a mess of things. Because of him, I can get rid of guilt and go boldly forward with hope.