Sick

I'm sick today. Not any kind of acute thing - no major sniffles, coughing, running to the bathroom sort of thing. More headachy, cold, stiff, not eating. General malaise. I heard that somewhere and like the sound. I guess I could have sucked it up and made myself go through the motions of the day at school but I'm too old to need to prove myself like that anymore. I also don't have to write up sub plans which may help a bit too. I did worry off and on about the EAs and their boys but I really shouldn't think so much of myself as to imagine that they can't survive without me. So I am home.

I slept all morning and watched a bit of the Canadian political crisis on CBC in the afternoon. Yes! Canada is having a political crisis and its mostly because all of the politicians aren't behaving like nice people. What a surprise. So the drama will now continue for the next month. Pundits are the only winners I think.

I also am going to miss a CD launch I really wanted to go to this evening. Rei Hotoda - asian avant-garde solo piano. It sounds interesting and there was sushi. She's the assistant conductor of the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra and a good friend someone we are close too. I was looking forward to the evening and to spending time with my friend. We don't see each other nearly enough and I miss her.

This is rambling. Time for more peppermint tea and to get to the end of the mystery I am reading. Pure fluff. A good thing to do when you are sick.

A two year olds' wisdom

I had a great visit to BC this weekend. Its hard to live so far away from your kids and especially hard to live far away from grandkids. Ryan and Steph have moved into their own home - a nice 3 bedroom town house in Aldergrove. It suits their family and is very comfortable. Ollie is just joy. He is a chatterbox and makes a running commentary on his two year old world. What a sweet way to rediscover the wonder around you. From him exclaiming "What happened fingers?" when he came out of the tub to shuddering, "Oo, poopy," while investigating a gross 6 inch slug. "Out of the mouths of babes..."

Vande Kraats B&B

Hank and I have been joking that we are running a B and B right now. We have hosted several of Gerald Folkerts' siblings the past two months. They come to Winnipeg to visit and just sleep at our place. Its a tough time for all of them and we are happy to help out this way. But we also had a house full on the Thanksgiving weekend when my mom and Hank's mom came for Elliott's baptism. We even had to ship Scott and Margaret to the Jory's because we had no vacancy. This weekend we had a very short visit from James Schaap. He was the featured speaker at the 100th anniversary of the CRC in Winnipeg. When some one sleeps in your home, you seem to develop a level of intimacy that is different than just stopping by for a visit. It may be the early morning vulnerability that we all have before the coffee is ready or it may be the late night talks in the living room with a bottle of wine. We have had the opportunity to do this with several of our guests and feel richer for it.

This has been a difficult year starting with the drama and worry of Elliott's birth, Kayla's difficulties and the many hospital visits until his surgery. At the same time, Dad was dying and we worried about Mom caring for him. We seemed to barely catch our breath once Dad was gone and Elliott was healed and we were faced with Gerald's illness. It seems trifling in some ways but there has been constant turnover in my staff and trying to keep 3 high needs boys with autism calm and learning with a revolving door of educational assistants has added to the stress. So it was good to be reminded again this weekend of God's faithfulness at the Anniversary celebrations. James had two insightful speeches. The image that remains for me is that on the prairies when the wind buffets you, the best thing to do is to go low. And the picture of "Now Thank We All Our God" being penned at the end of the bloody Thirty Year's War. Gary Bomhof, our dear friend and pastor for many years preached Sunday morning and he ended the sermon borrowing a line from Barak Obama - "Yes, we can." But Gary stressed that the "we" was not the strength of the American people but our strength when our faithful God becomes an integral part of our life. The road ahead may be rocky but we can travel it together. Yes we can.

One other thought, that sermon probably wouldn't have flown in NW Iowa at the moment.

One of those days....

I'm still at school at 3:00 and its supposed to be my afternoon off. It was just one of those days where I was needed. A loud reaction to missing something important by one of our boys with autism took most of the morning. Then there was a visit with a social worker about another. This was a God-thing I think. Last week the SW was talking to me about a course she had taken on an interesting problem and suddenly one child we are confused about came into focus. I asked about it and next thing I know we are meeting next week to set up a program! Things don't usually happen this fast. Then there were discussions on IEPs (Individual Education Plans) with several people and finally a little girl in kindergarten who was afraid to change her clothes after not making it in from recess on time. After a discussion sitting in the kindergarten bathroom stall she informed me that scared and embarrassed are the same thing. Not so much - but as long as the clean pants were NOT a 6 or an X and were black, she would wear them. I admit I lied to her about the size but she came out and the crisis was over.

Some days are like this - even in Winnipeg. But I like them. Even the hard parts.

Maybe I shouldn't blog tonight.....

More sad news came our way tonight. A friend we have lost touch with died of an aneurism last week. He graduated from
Dordt with Hank and they taught together in Lethbrdidge. It just seems as if there are too many sad things happening right now. I was going to try to muse on this but its too hard. Back to my two steady "mantas" it seems. Be still and know that I am God. My times are in your hands.

Fall

Yesterday was late summer, warm, sunny with a glow in the trees. Today is fall - the first day of it according to the sun too. Its damp, grey and now the leaves lay gummy in the gutters. Hmmmm. But I love fall. Soon the sun will come back and we can enjoy the colors, the crispness and the energy it brings.

I'm having my first day off of the school year. Its been super busy with new autistic kids, a schedule that was hard to manage and then to make it even crazier, one of the full time EAs hurt her knee and is off indefinitely. Gulp! But replacements were found for now and things are starting to run. I realize how much I like being with kids even though this job is more administrative in some ways. But like a grandparent, I sort of get the best of it. I visit, get to know the character of the kids, offer support where I can and then leave. There are responsibilities other teachers don't have like supervising the EAs, planning for the special needs kids, dealing with parents on almost a daily basis but I feel that I have been prepared for this job. And I have a heart for the parents with special needs kids. Its a tough road to travel sometimes and the joy I see at what seem like very small gains make all the work worth it. Some people have questioned why a private school should take on children with high needs - isn't the public school better equipped for them? At at some levels - especially in jr/sr high this may be true. But at the elementary level, where else should they be? They are a part of the body of Christ and they are our covenantal responsibility as much if not more than any other child.

Hank spent the weekend in BC with Ryan and Steph. Ollie was so grown up and cute. He recognized Hank when he came off the ferry from a conference in Victoria and they just had great time together. Its hard when your kids live far away but the times together are even sweeter then. I have tickets to go there for Ollie's second birthday so I'm counting the weeks now.

The birds are going crazy in the mountain ask - eating the berries before they migrate so I'm going to go check them out.

Our human frailty

I was very pensive about starting the new school year. I don't know if I believe in premonitions but after a difficult last half of the previous school year with Elliott being sick and my dad dying, I didn't feel ready for the new year. I kept feeling that we weren't finished with worry and unease. Sadly, I was right.

Our dear dear friend, Gerald Folkerts, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor on Wednesday - the first day of school. He is a larger than life person - first of all an artist but also an organizer, a dreamer, a doer, a singer, a writer - a wonderful friend and a committed follower of Jesus. He, his wife, Arlis, and their kids were some of the first people to welcome us here 20 years ago and over the course of these 20 years we have walked many miles together - good and bad but we have grown to truly love them. Brother and Sister in Christ who feel like real family. Hank and Gerald are accountability partners and Arlis is Iowa farm girl who grew up only about 10 miles from me but we never met until Winnipeg. It is a very difficult time and all of us who know Gerald and Arlis ( a huge circle of friends, family and colleagues) are fervently praying for healing. We feel so helpless and realize again our inability to fix our lives and our total dependence on our God.